BILA AKU CONFIDENT

It was late at night and I was waiting for the elevator at the office.

"Ting!" (bosanla bunyi lif mcm ni. Nak tukaq)

"GEDEBUISH!" The elevator opened the door. It brought me down to level P, opened the door and my colleagues Andrea and Nisha came in.

'Laaa tak balik lagi budak-budak ni.' Terdetik di hati walaupun 'budak-budak' lagi tua daripada aku.

So we went down to the car park at the basement together. Andrea and I parked nearby but Nisha said she parked jauh sikit.

We said our goodbyes, and headed to keta masing-masing. Masa nak keluar dari basement tu, aku bertembung dengan satu keta Mazda ni.

"Ha! Ni mesti Nisha!" I said to myself, walaupun tak penah tau si Nisha ni bawak keta Mazda ka, keta sorong ka, sorong papan tarik papan ka. Walaubagaimanapn, dengan excitednya, aku pn buat la lampu liplap-liplap dua tiga kali sambil menyanyikan lagu raya ke arah keta Nisha.

Tapi sayang seribu kali sayang. Tu bukan keta Nisha pn!! Keta mamat mana ka. Tapi bagus mamat ni. Walaupun aku buat mcm tu, dia rileks buat tak tau ja. Cuba kalau aku terbuat kat gangster kampung makam ka, KL gangster ka, mau dia tunggu aku tepi jalan nak belasah. Lagi terok kalau dia silau tinggi masa drive malam. Aku pulak dok pi bagi tambah silau lagi kat dia.

Lepaih aku dh elok pi bagi lampu liplap kat mamat tu, apa lagi... tunggu dia hilang drp pandangan la.

Inilah orang-orang tua kata "TAK DAK PASAI PI CARI PASAI."

Aku la orang tua tu.

KALAU AKU KURANG AJAQ

Pagi yang tak berapa pagi td, aku dan Azy bercadang untuk breakfast di Subway dekat-dekat dengan rumah aku di Shah Alam seksyen 7 ni. Walaupun dh macam-macam cerita aku dengaq pasai service kat Subway seksyen 7 ni, aku kira cincai la.. sebab ketaq lutut semua punya lapaq. Azy pn aku dok nampak dua td. So I thought, it couldn't be that bad. Pi ja la.

Bila dh order nak makan apa, minah tu bubuh la daging, teloq dengan cheese.
Masa kat tempat nak bubuh sayoq-sayoq tu, aku nampak cili jeruk.

Aku bisik kat Azy, "Kalau aku mai bawak char koay teow, mintak depa boh ni ataih char koay teow aku, hang rasa depa bagi tak?"

"Depa nanti benti keja teruih," Azy jawab.

Fuh, nasib beik aku tak buat lagi.

Lepaih dh order makanan, mai la time nak bayaq.
Budak laki kat kaunter tu keja alahai.. lemah gemalai. Sampai ada traffic jam la kira dalam Subway tu sebab lambat sangat. "Kira guna sempoa apa dia ni" terdetik hati aku.

Bila tiba masa kami nak bayaq, dia tanya aku, "Makan kat sini ke, bawak balik?"

"Makan kat sini." aku jawab.

Lepas tu, aku nampak dia nak boh coffee aku dalam plastic bag.

Aku kata lagi sekali, "Makan sini."

(KALAU AKU KURANG AJAQ)
"Aku kata makan sini. makan sini. MAKAN SINI. punya dekat aku cakap tak dengaq ka? nak kena guna microphone, speaker 2,3 bijik, berdiri ataih stage kot baru nak dengaq."

Lepaih dia dh boh coffee aku dan Azy kat dalam talam (tudia talam), dia dok diri buat rileks.
Tisu, gula, stirrer semua tak bagi.

Aku pn mintak la. "Tisu dik?"

(KALAU AKU KURANG AJAQ)
"Tisu tak dak? Habih tu aku nak sapu mulut dengan apa? Dengan tudung deni?" sambil menunding jari ke arah Azy.

Lepaih dia letak tisu, dia berdiri rileks lagi. Gula tak bagi pn.
Isk tak boleh aku aih. Sabaq Anis, sabaq...

"Erm... gula?" Aku cakap lagi.

(KALAU AKU KURANG AJAQ)
"Ni aku nak kena pi perah tebu pulak ka nak dapat gula?"

Dia letak 4 bungkuih gula dalam talam tu. Lepaih tu mcm biasa, dia berdiri rileks lagi.
Aku rasa hobi dia kot berdiri rileks ni.

"Errr... stirrer?" aku kata sambil menahan ayaq mata darah keluaq daripada mata aku. (Ha la takkan mata Azy pulak!)

(KALAU AKU KURANG AJAQ)
"Lepaih aku boh gula, aku nak kacau dengan apa? Dengan jari aku?!"

Tapi Alhamdulillah, walaupun service depa ni agak teruk, aku dapat menahan kesabaran dan tidak menjadi kurang ajaq.

Lain kali kalau pi makan kat sana, aku rasa patut ditegur baik-baik so that they improve their weaknesses and InsyaAllah, provide better service. That's how it should be.

And yes, mestilah AZY yang kena tegoq. Aku ni penakot.

THE MUSIC OF MY LIFE

I was listening to a DIY mixed CD in my car the other day. Didn't know what songs were in it, since I had it for the longest time and was too lazy to put a label on it. So I just played it.

It was English ballad songs from Babyface, Mariah Carey, 98 Degrees and Celine Dion.
Yes, these are my favourite singers back then until now. Their songs, so far, have not been able to bore me.

In fact, as I grow, the way I listen to these songs are different from when I was 15 years old. I listen closely to the music arrangement, how beautiful the lyrics were written. Things like that.

But one thing remains the same. The memories.

Do you realize how music can bring you back to the exact place you heard it the first time?
How you felt, what you experienced. Yes, this is what I like the most about music.

The first song in the CD was "Invisible Man" by 98 Degrees.

Gosh, I can hear this song over and over and over again. In fact I'm listening to it now while writing this (nak amik feel lah) and keeping it on loop. I suggest you guys listen to the songs too while reading this :)

It brought me back to 1999. 98 Degrees were a big hit at that time, and they were coming to Malaysia. I was a teenager, with pimples all over my face, dreaming I was gonna be an architect and marry Jeff Timmons. I was so excited about them coming and planned to check them out at this mall which I can't remember the name. I think the mall no longer exist now. So I went there with my best friend. I remember I bought a teddy bear for Jeff Timmons. It was a blue teddy bear.

Oh.. don't you just love how innocent you used to be when you were a teenager and in love with a star? (If only I had a time machine, I'd go back and smack that teddy bear on my own 15 year-old head, saying "A teddy bear? You might as well get a pink one with ribbons all over it.")

Then the CD brought me further. "Someone To Love" by Babyface.

Oh yes.. the first love. The first time having a crush on a guy, sorry, a boy. And he liked me too! We declared ourselves as girlfriend and boyfriend. He used to give me love letters with nice-smelling powders sprinkled on it! I guess back then they didn't have that nice-smelling paper commercialized yet, so you had to DIY it. And plus, we were 12. Give us a break.

It was also the first and last time I ever received a mixed tape from a guy. Sorry again. A boy. (I hate how old I feel right now!)
"Someone To Love" was one of the songs in that mixed tape. And I've been in love with that song ever since.
But unfortunately, not the boy. I hope he's doing good now, though. I hope he has met his "someone to love" while I'm still searching for mine. (hint, hint!)

Then Mariah Carey came in with "When I Saw You".

Another love story. Well, not love, love. It wasn't love when the guy you fell in love with never spoke to you and looked at you maybe twice in his life, was it? Sorry, ACCIDENTALLY looked cause you dropped your papan Lukisan Kejuruteraan in the middle of the school canteen.

Uh-huh. I was in high school - Sekolah Menengah Teknik Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra, Penang. I had this HUGE crush on a guy named Khairil Fedzal Kamal. Ok, instead of feeling like a loser that I can still remember his full name, I'm gonna opt for the fact that I have good memory.

Ok back to the story. I fell in love with him the first time I saw him. From then, I observed *cough - stalked* his interests cause I wanted to get his attention. I had a plan. I wasn't just a random observer *cough - stalker*.
I managed to track his interest - football. He loved it. I could still remember seeing him practice almost every day after school. He looked so handsome in his jersey.. sigh.

Oh, one more thing. You must also know that I used to draw a lot at that time. Mostly potraits of celebrities. So I thought, if I gave him my drawings, maybe he'd come and say thanks. And then we'll get to know each other, and he'll fall in love with me effortlessly. So I started drawing football stars in action! FYI I had never drew whole-body potraits before because for me it was very difficult. My first try turned David Beckham into David Arumugam. (no offense, David Arumugam. I love your songs!) After a few trials, I managed to get it right. The question was, how was I gonna hand it to him? I couldn't do it myself! I REFUSED to hand it to him myself. I didn't wanna end up saying "HiI'minlovewithyousoIthoughtyouwouldlovethisdrawingcauseyoulovefootballandIhopeyouwilllovemetooandwe'dmakebeautifulkidstogether."

To avoid him filing a police report on me, I found myself a middle person. His name was Azril. He was kinda cute though. But I was so focusing on Khairil that nobody was cute to me back then. Sorry guys.
Azril used to help me hand all my drawings to Khairil. And the upah was, since he was a fan of my drawings, I had to give HIM a drawing too. So I was drawing double.

So yeah... I love music and its ability to make me remember all these memories and bring a huge smile to my face.
Music brings me back to the place when life was so much simpler and in this case, how easy it was to fall in love.

Now life is becoming harder to deal with. Worst of all, I find it so hard to fall in love.
Yes, you know what this means.

It's time to play "All by Myself" by Celine Dion.