31

Alhamdulillah, today marks the 31st year of my life. 

And it falls in Ramadan Kareem - the best time of the year! I hope everyone is having a great Ramadan experience and may Allah swt accept our ibadah for Him. Allahumma Ameen. 

31 years old. Wow. 

I was just talking to my masjid buddies - Intan and Lisa - about our age. 
I asked how old they were. They answered, "21". 
Ya Allah, mudanyaaa.. I can't remember how I was when I was 21. 
We are 10 years apart, man! 

I feel old. 

Then I thought, yes, you are older now, Anis. You will face this every year, if Allah wills. 
You can't run away from getting older. Allah does not leave you with a choice to grow old or not to grow old. You WILL definitely grow old whether you like it or not. 

But Allah does give you another choice as you grow old - Your maturity.
How much have you grown, in your mindset, thinking ability, reflections. How much have you grown in looking at things around you. 

How much have you grown in your relationship with the people around you? 
How much have you grown in your relationship with Him? 

I realized that in order to tackle the previous questions I posted to myself, I must look into the last question, which happens to be the most important question - my relationship with Allah. 
Because I know once I get that right, Allah will change my mindset, my thinking ability, the way I reflect, the way I look at things around me. 

Alhamdulillah, these past years have been a wonderful journey in my life. 
Allah reached out to me, and gave me a point of realization a few years back to be a good servant of His. It happened in Mufti Menk's first ever talk that I attended. May Allah bless Mufti Menk and preserve him. Allahumma Ameen. 

I started doing the things that are pleasing to Him. 
I started to talk, confide, beg more from Him. I started to learn about His book. 
I started a relationship with the One who is the Most Loving, the Most Caring. 

But as years go by, having only a relationship is not enough. 
I realize that once you genuinely wants to be closer to Allah, He will put a higher benchmark for you in your relationship with Him. He wants to grow that relationship. Allahuakbar. 

He teaches you the things you've never heard of. The ilm (knowledge) that He showers upon you to strengthen your relationship with Him. He brings you to places of goodness and He brings into your life, people who are genuinely kind and whom you can benefit from. 

He teaches you to trust Him. To rely on Him. To ask from Him. 
And Him only. 

Then He will test you. 

This is a personal experience that I had, of how Allah tested me in trusting him, in relying upon Him and asking from Him.

Many months ago - I think almost a year - I was driving to work in the morning. 
Out of a sudden, I was hit by a motorcycle from the back. I stopped my car at the roadside, and went to see the guy. My car's bumper was scratched quite badly, and his motorcycle was worst. He had minor injuries on his hands and legs. He looked shocked by the accident, stayed quiet. 

I asked him, how do we go about this? 
He said, "Gaji tak masuk lagi ni nak bayar. Kalau akak tunggu hujung bulan ni, nanti saya bank-in ke dalam akaun akak." 

I said, "Kita claim insurance je la dik. Tapi kena buat report polis dulu. Tapi... nanti kamu kena saman RM300 tau." 

He kept quiet. 

I continued, "Macam ni, bagi no phone adik, nanti saya call untuk settlekan hal workshop ni bila kamu dah dapat gaji." 

He said, "Phone saya pecah ni kak. Saya tak ingat nombor telefon saya."

At that time I was like... what? How can you not remember your own phone number? Is he trying to get away or something? 

Then I remembered The Prophet s.a.w's advice: Be merciful to others so that Allah has mercy on you. 

I said, "Takpe la adik. Kita tak payah buat report polis. Ni nombor telefon saya, nanti dah dapat gaji, call saya." Then I went away. 

Somehow I knew he wasn't going to call me to fix my car. 
Allah gave me the strength to forgive him. Allah knows what trouble he was going through. He might come from a poor family, he might have family to take care of and many more came to my mind. I let him go, hoping that the mercy of Allah descends upon me. 

And as for the scratch, I'll fix it when I have the time and money. Allah is the One who provides for me, anyway. So I know I'll be okay. 

About 2 weeks later, I was on my way to go home from work. 
Then, a lady's car hit my car from behind. 
I calmly went out and see the aunt who was driving. I asked if she was okay, and saw my car's bumper. It was quite severe. 

Alhamdulillah, that aunty was super kind and amazing. Her name is Aunty Pang. 
She quickly brought me to a workshop to fix my car. 

And guess what, the scratch that I got from the accident with the motorcycle was still there. 
And now, since the aunty had crashed the bumper, the whole bumper had to be replaced with a new one. My car looked brand new. 

Allahuakbar. 

This incident really had an impact on me. 
It was my personal experience of Allah's mercy. And what He can do for you if you do things for His sake. The things He does for you when you put your full trust in Him, rely upon Him and ask only from Him, really cannot be understood by the mind. It can only be understood by the heart. 

Alhamdulillah, today marks the 31st year of my life. 

And as I grow in life, I pray that Allah helps me grow in my relationship with Him. I pray that He helps me to become matured in "seeing" Him, His attributes, His generosity, His kindness, His love, His mercy, His appreciation, His everything. Allahumma Ameen. 

Jazakallahu khairan for everyone who makes du'a for me, genuinely loves me and cares for me.

May Allah swt continue His blessings upon us, constantly guide us, and help us in growing our relationship with Him. May He swt help us in striving to have a matured relationship with Him until the day He takes us back to Him. And may He place a great love for Him in our hearts. 

Allahumma Ameen.